Climbing High

It's been a while since I've updated anything so I'll cut over to updating my exercise log after this.  The usual steady improvements and setbacks, with the crazy fluctuating weather wreaking havoc on my muscles and sleep patterns.  Still, skin is definitely tightening, toning and muscles are improving.  I used to have to kind of shuffle my weight from plank to chaturanga, taking more weight on my right arm before balancing it out, but I've been able to strongly drop down evenly in recent weeks.  Even flipping onto the tops of my feet without the rest of my legs ever touching while arching into upward dog.  You might need to have done yoga for that not to be total gibberish, but if you've never done it, it might be worth it to try going through a Vinyasa using correct breathing and form.  It's a lot harder than it sounds but once you nail it, it's like stepping outside on a spring day.

Today marks the end of the first four week phase of Round Two of P90X3.  I'm nowhere near doing advanced on some of these and that may not even be possible until I've done a third or fourth round through the whole program.  The point is I CAN.  I didn't take any rest days.  I haven't lost any weight this month (I do weigh in tomorrow and I'll take measurements then too), but I also haven't been able to stick to a low calorie diet either.  I have been getting my protein up, which can make it hard to do low calorie diets properly.  I'm not using whey protein, just getting it from chicken, fish, turkey, eggs, beef and greek yogurt.  It gets me at an average of 100g protein daily, which is much better than my old average of 60g.  And yeah, I cheat.  But even cheats are controlled and counted because accountability is still important.

Muscle is going to be my greatest ally in weight loss eventually, so it's very important that I nurture that progression rather than focus on weight loss.  I wanted to do this first and foremost for health, so if I try to take shortcuts, I am absolutely defeating the purpose.  Huge fluctuations might get you to the goal faster, but it can absolutely wreck your metabolism and make it a lot harder to build good habits.  Remember that if you catch envy nipping at you when someone casually loses a few pounds when you struggled and lost nothing.  There's no way your efforts are for nothing if you are eating right and exercising.  Plateaus happen, sometimes because your body needs to hold onto something while it's building you up.  Sometimes, a switch in routine might be called for.  Remember, workout days will always need more carbs and protein.  If you think you're going to do a vigorous workout and just eat a salad that day, your body is not going to thank you.  It is not just about calorie deficit.  Bodies can crash and start holding onto the wrong things when you're not giving it proper nutrition.

Okay, okay, getting preachy, but I'm nervous about tomorrow.  Weigh-ins and measuring always do that, even though they do not take away my motivation if I don't see change.  I am still improving, still able to tolerate and move through pain better.  I'm never going to be able to stand at a register for hours again-- some of the damage is permanent.  Considering my aspiration is to be a writer and a designer, that should not be a problem.  People with limits don't disappear, we adapt.  And if you're really dedicated, sometimes can'ts become cans.

False Alarm (hey hey hey hey)

Couldn't resist a quick Weeknd reference...

The symptoms of sick faded as quickly as they came and I've been keeping on track.  Having to rebuild all of my strength in these exercises since it's been quite a while since I've done most of them.  I'm not someone who sees a new year as a new start though.  If anything, Monday's are start days.  Weigh in, measurement, new workout schedules-- Monday, Monday, Monday.  It's the day we're all conditioned to think is the worst and I'm championing it as a day to renew.

A day to celebrate better health and shorter colds!  A day to take stock in small victories and setbacks, to learn, readjust and approach it stronger.

If a new year, new you approach works, more power to you, but I find that waiting for an excuse to start, for any other reason than being too busy to fit in even a half hour workout, is a recipe for failure.  Hey, failure is a building block though, right?  If failure defeats you, you set your expectations too high.  If it gives you the excuse to give up, then your first step is reevaluating your motivation.  For some, 'beach body' is all they need.  You may have these grand notions that 'family, health and confidence' are all it.  Great.  But when you're crying and sweating 15 minutes into a workout, injuring yourself because you overdid it or you get caught up in numbers and gained a pound on a week you worked so hard, are you still seeing the big picture?  You need those short term motivators too.  You need the grit to get through the workout, or the willpower to take a day of rest and still test those sore muscles the next day.  You're going to need to forgive destroying your diet during an emotional eating cave in and get right back on it.  Grand goals are great, but what are you telling your body in the moments when it's screaming all your doubts at you?  These are moments where you have to touch base with a very selfish part of yourself, a part that you didn't know was there like all the new muscles screaming at you for being unused.  That part is your drill sergeant, the one that knows you can do it, that doesn't care what you did yesterday or that morning or before you started working out.  It's going to be your nurse when you need a break, your dietician when you slip up.  It's going to be an amateur at first, learning right along with you.  Feed that you so it can fuel everything else.

I have days where doubts creep in, almost cripplingly so.  I feed the selfish part of me, so I can see those grander goals, the ones where doing for myself makes me the person I want to be for everyone else.  And also myself, because I KNOW I mentioned how damn satisfying it is to watch my shape change.  To feel it head to toe.  To be able to do all of things I wanted to do before I forgot myself.

It's just a matter of finding the right kind of selfish.