No, this isn't a post about some glandular bullshit or even my chronic pain's tendency to wreak havoc over my workouts. Today, this is about me losing a pound and not earning it. lol Before you think I've lost my mind, let me say that as far as my diet goes, I completely sabotaged my budget out of frustration for the cold weather increasing my hunger. By all accounts, I should have just maintained my weight or even gained a pound to teach me not to punish my lack of weight loss results. I'm not entirely unhappy and I know how my body likes it's higher calorie weeks, but damn it, I plateaued for a month on strict macros and WHAM!, unrepeatable week of gluttony (within reason still) and I lose a damn pound.
Yes, I'm happy, but no, I'm not thrilled. I know fluctuating my diet too frequently is not good. I know that low calorie weeks often suck no matter how much protein and filler I use to try to take the edge off of hunger, but I loathe when my body does respond to the dastardly 'weeks that shall not be named'. Those weeks where I still work out but tell my budget to fuck off and have more cheats than my guilt can handle... and get rewarded for it... Because I know that isn't something I can rely on and I hate that it's always juggling.
I am starting to really love my body and not shrink away from mirrors. That is supposed to be my main reward for sticking to working out even when I feel like a partially frozen mud puddle. I'm certainly not allowed to become complacent about my weight when I still have 30 pounds minimum to lose. Don't say I don't celebrate; I'm downright cocky with pride for my accomplishments, but when things don't make sense, I am harsh.
So here's where I be. About to finish my sixth week and not a single rest day. I walk an hour five days a week getting my nephews to school. Even when I crack the budget, I'm still eating wholesome foods and even the greasy, guilty cheats are portioned and recorded. I'm accountable. What I am not is happy with biology. Y u so contrary? Why does it seem like I can't budge on numbers when I'm doing all the right things, that only chaos pushes things into order? I don't know, but looks like I'm following suit one week every month. Cheating is going to be like a period. In fact, those should probably fall on the same damn week every month. I've said it before, but I'll say it again-- those boost weeks are my anchor, aren't they?
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