Facing Failure

Sometimes I go to the scale, really psyched for results and I'll have gained a pound or not lost at all.  I'm doing low impact exercise, of course, so I'm not expecting more than two pounds on the best week.  It's entirely impossible that even as I strengthen, I might never be able to handle high impact.  It doesn't sound like a healthy way to go anyway.  You hear so much about people tearing tendons and joints over time trying to go high impact over prolonged stretches of time.  Honestly, I just don't care about getting ripped-- I'd be happy to keep soft curves and nestled in my target weight range.  

I say that but I'm not entirely sure what that range is most of the time.  I believe that it is between 130 -160 pounds for someone with a large frame at my height.  Target ranges are generous, but I think we all tend to think women are aiming for something closer to 100 pounds.  For me, 100 pounds was only realistic when I was 5'2" and 13 years old.  I'm aiming to sit right around 150 lbs but going as low as 140 wouldn't hurt.  I don't want to be so obsessive about this journey that I risk being underweight either.  I had been 135 once, but I had also been in a labor intensive job then and not inhibited by chronic pain.  That isn't realistic for now either.

Easy for me to get sidetracked, but I've started out this week great.  

Monday: just under 1400 calories

               1 hour brisk walk

               30 min recumbent bike - moderate speed

Tuesday: still calculating, but 400 at breakfast

               30 min brisk walk

               30 mins recumbent bike - moderate speed

               Cleaning fish tank

Cleaning the fish tank generally takes 30 mins to an hour and while I can drain it out of my window, sometimes I just carry down 3-4 5 gallon buckets and carry up 2 2-gal buckets at a time to replace the water.  Today I carried 10 2 gallon buckets up the stairs, taking about 25 minutes to drain, carry, treat water and clean up.  It's strenuous work and definitely takes cares of strength workouts.  I absolutely POUR sweat when I do this, even if it's freezing indoors.  I generally only do this every 3-4 weeks and sometimes it involves bleaching the plants.  I change the filter a week or so after a water change and basically once a month.  That isn't strenuous at all, but I do hand wash all the pieces and it takes a few trips up and down the stairs.  Caring for fish definitely isn't a leisurely task.

I could write a blog entirely on them, but I'll stick to the topic.  :). That was mostly for reference in terms of actual physical demands.

Anyways, the goal for this week is to keep protein intake around 80-100 grams (it's really difficult to go higher than this while still minding calories or not taking some sort of protein boosting supplement), keep calories around 1200-1400 daily (but NOT going under and trying not to go higher than 1600), and getting in at least six hours of walking, 3 hours of cycling and one day of yoga or tai chi on the weekend.  We'll see how that goes.  I know calorie counting sound like a nightmare to most people but I use an app that just scan bar codes or you can type in details, like the size of the fruit or serving and it does all the guesswork.  It's called Lose It and it has helped me do what I needed to lose 15 pounds so far.  I don't count calories so much as record the foods I eat and I can make adjustments based on the data.  Pretty spiffy.

But that brings me to where I am today.  I might record my progress and thoughts daily or keep it to a weekly summary.  I started this blog as another way to stay accountable and I'll use it how it benefits me most.   I hope to reach my goals by year's end-- sooner will be nice but I'm prepared to go as long as need and not get discouraged.  It's a lifestyle change after all, not a passing fad.