This week I decide to go back into a maintenance budget because my stomach feels so hollow from the 1200-1400 calorie limit. Averaging about 1800 calories this week. Sometimes this jump starts weight loss when I plateau. No idea why, but it works for me. I've been really muscle sore and tired but I've been nailing down my workouts anyway. Even on my worst days, I hate the guilt of missing a workout. I know I'll feel physically worse if I chicken out too. Haven't missed a workout in three weeks and I'm not about to start.
So not my best week, but when I feel the muscles, the tone and remember I still have better days ahead, I know I have to go strong. I'll need my gut loading weeks, thinking about doing it every 3-4 weeks. I still make healthy food choices, I just get to feel full instead of good enough. I still plan on having that bikini body. Don't tell me all bodies are bikini bodies. Be as body positive as you want but I have always dressed to best flaunt my features. A bikini does not flatter my big body, I have no illusions and confidence doesn't cut it. I want my fit and curvy body back so I can feel like a warrior, not just a woman. I want to do handstands and roundhouse kicks. It's not enough just to wear that bikini-- I want to rock it.
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